


Ultracrepidarian

by RayeoftheSunshine



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alphinaud tries teaching for a day, F/M, FFxivWrite, FFxivWrite 2020, Gen, Wolexarch, children get distracted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26425135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayeoftheSunshine/pseuds/RayeoftheSunshine
Summary: Moonflower and G'raha left the Leveilleur twins in charge of their children for a morning. Study time did not go very well. For the ffxivwrite challenge, day 11: ultracrepidarian.
Relationships: Alisaie Leveilleur & Original Character(s), Alphinaud Leveilleur & Original Character(s), G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Ultracrepidarian

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my friend nami_no_hoshi for suggesting the topic of today's fic! The story "Clamor" is connected to this one, but should read well enough without having read that one first.
> 
> An ultracrepidarian is essentially someone who pretends to be an expert in something he has no idea what he's talking about.

“And this is the Crystal Tower,” Alphinaud said, pointing at the mark on the map.

“I know, I know!” chirped Sunflower. She spread her arms wide. “It’s _super big_!”

“Not just _big_ ,” interrupted Daffodil, “it’s _super sparkly_ too!”

Their pseudo-uncle lifted an eyebrow. “Is that so?” He leaned an elbow on the table, all ears. “What more can you tell me about it?”

The twins began chattering at once. “Daddy says it’s older than the universe,” began Daffodil wisely.

“Does he?”

“ _Duh_ , Uncle Alphinaud! The Cwistal Tower—”

“Crystal,” Alisaie added helpfully without looking up from her history book.

“ _Cwistal_ ,” Sunflower tried, with a great deal of sarcasm for an eight-year-old girl. “The tower has been there since _forever_. And it’s made out of cwistal because it’s pretty.”

Alphinaud honestly had to wonder what G’raha was telling his children that they got this impression, or if it was Moonflower who told them this. “And what else do you know about it?”

Rahn, who had only just turned four the week before, pointed a chubby finger to the map. “Mommy says there used to be a princess and a bad king!”

“I see,” Alphinaud said, nodding sagely. “That is true; the princess Salina gave your family your special eyes.” As soon as he said it, he cringed inwardly, and Alisaie gave him an unapproving look over her text. 

Rahn looked down and covered his green eye. After baby Aster had revealed the same blood-red eyes of his sisters and their father, he was especially sensitive to any mention of the Allagan Eyes. He was still hoping for the day that the green one would turn red, but no one quite knew how to tell him that wouldn’t happen. _At least, on its own it won’t._

Sunflower, who had climbed down from her chair, tugged on Alphinaud’s sleeve. “That makes us princesses, you know!” she whispered loudly.

Once again, he had to wonder how she could pronounce “princess” correctly, but not “crystal.” Still, it made him laugh and ruffle her hair. “Of course, Princess Sunflower. Shall we go back to the lesson?”

“Daffy and me—”

“Daffodil and _I_ , Sunflower,” Alisaie interrupted again, pushing Rahn’s crayons back over to him after they rolled away to her chair. 

“Whatever!” the girl huffed. “ _We_ already know everything about the tower!”

“All right,” Alphinaud said gamely. “Tell me about the inside of the tower.”

“Daddy says he used to live in a room called the Octagon,” Daffodil said cheerfully, completely serious. 

“ _No_ , it’s called the _Ocelot_ , dummy.”

As the girls started arguing over who was right, Rahn mumbled under his breath, “It’s the Ocular. And Daddy didn’t _live_ there.”

His sisters weren’t listening, however, so once again, Alphinaud had to try directing the lesson back to their studies. _How did a geography lesson turn into this?_ He didn’t remember being quite this _rowdy_ when he was eight, but Rahn was paying attention and he was _four_. The eldest Feys were smart, certainly, but they were a lot less bookish than he and his sister had been. That was why he had tried teaching with a map, hoping to use their surroundings in a hands on lesson. “Girls,” he said firmly, “princesses do not argue during their lessons.” He took a moment to be grateful that he wasn’t married or a father, because at twenty-four, he didn’t think he was cut out to do this full time. It was certainly good practice for if his life ever led him down that path, he would admit that much.

“Sorry, Uncle Alphinaud,” they said in unison, and settled back into their chairs.

“Now, to start again, the Crystal Tower is southeast of the Rising Stones in Revenant’s Toll, and its principal spire is called the Syrcus Tower.”

“The Syrup Tower!” Daffodil giggled, which made all three of the children laugh.

Alphinaud groaned and slammed his face onto the table. _Forget being the Warrior of Light and Darkness, and the leader of the Crystarium, Moonflower and G’raha are heroes just for being their parents. Were Alisaie and I this much of a handful before we went to the Studium?_

His sister also smacked her face with her book, he heard, and he was grateful he wasn’t the only one losing his mind over how silly their nieces were being. “Does your father really call it the Syrup Tower?” Alisaie asked.

“No, Daddy says Syrcus Tower,” Rahn answered. “But Mommy thinks it’s funny.”

“Daddy says we used to live there,” Sunflower said, serious for once. Alphinaud noticed that when she wanted to, she would wear the mantle of the oldest child, but it wasn’t often. “When Daffodil and I were babies like Asty.”

 _Yes, I remember those days quite well. The odd sensations of my body trying to call back to my soul, living without knowing when we would return home._ “That’s right, you did. But then you all moved back here, to Eorzea, and you don’t have to live in the tower anymore.”

“Did you see it, Uncle Alphinaud?”

He stifled a sigh. They were well and truly not going to finish the geography lesson, so he may as well turn it into a history lesson. “Yes, I saw it, and I was able to walk inside it many times. But your parents spent the most time inside and explored more of it than we ever did.”

“Daddy says Mommy is a hero.” Rahn’s voice was a reverent whisper. He absolutely adored their mother.

“Your mother is the greatest hero to live in our lifetime,” Alisaie said, shutting her book and setting it aside. She came to sit at the table they were supposed to be studying at. “And she was the one who helped make the tower safe long before your father built the Crystarium.” Her eyes were bright, like they always became when their friend was the subject, so Alphinaud remained quiet and let her keep going. “It was the combined efforts of your parents that made the tower here in Mor Dhona safe. Your father resealed the tower after Rahn was born.”

Rahn’s ears perked up at his name. “Really?”

“Yes. He had to allow you to pass from Norvrandt, where you were born, to here, Eorzea, where we live now.” 

“Do you think Daddy is going to open the tower for Asty?” Daffodil turned to Alisaie, expecting an answer.

Their aunt patted her head. “We shall see, but I doubt it, and don’t even think about trying to open it yourself.”

The two girls, who had _definitely_ been thinking about opening the tower themselves, exchanged glances and sighed in unison, “Awww…” 

“This doesn’t look like studying,” said a new voice. They all turned around to see the children’s parents coming toward them. It was G’raha Tia who had been speaking. “What are you up to?”

“Daddy! Mommy!” All three immediately jumped to their feet and clung to their parents. The twins wrapped their arms around their father, while Rahn hugged their mother. 

For his part, Alphinaud couldn’t help the sigh of relief and rubbed his temples. It made Moonflower chuckle and he gave her a sheepish look. “We were trying to study geography, but then we started talking about the Crystal Tower.”

Moonflower and G’raha exchanged knowing looks. “We’re sorry about that,” she said, and petted Rahn’s ears briefly before adjusting her hold on the bundle in her arms. Aster made a cooing noise in response. “That’s their favorite subject.”

“We know everything!” Sunflower insisted. “We were trying to teach Uncle Alphinaud.”

G’raha grinned at this and glanced at Alphinaud. “And did Uncle Alphinaud learn anything?”

“I’ve learned about the Ocelot or the Octagon, and the Syrup Tower, so I have certainly learned a lot.” The girls were certainly wrong about everything they’d told him, but their enthusiasm was endearing, and he wasn’t about to squash it. It was better to encourage their studies.

The two miqo’te snickered and then G’raha shook his head. “Girls, I think we need to refresh what you know about the tower at home. Thanks again, Alphinaud, Alisaie.”

Alisaie waved him off. “Anytime, G’raha.”

Once they cleaned up their study materials, the family left with cheerful goodbyes and promises from the girls to tell them more about the Crystal Tower later. It made Alphinaud smile and look forward to it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest, I despaired over what to write for today, especially after how difficult nonagenarian had been! Thank you again, friend!!
> 
> Some of the children's personalities are peeping through, here, and I actually had a lot of fun writing it. I realize that some behavior might seem too immature/mature for them, but 1) everyone develops at a different pace and 2) sometimes children cling to behavior that doesn't fit their age. I work with kids of all ages, so I see it all the time.
> 
> See you with day 12!


End file.
